oceanlab - i am what i am

Friday, September 24, 2010

i have tried

i have tried my best for the last 2 years, trying to compensate with every time he disappeared without a word. i throw my hands up in the air as i say all this... i give up. finally with all conviction i say i give up. maybe it just happened at a bad time in my life when work pushes so much pressure and health is just failing and you just have much trouble with your family. i tried to change every norm to be with this man for the last two years. best of all i swallowed the largest part of my pride, taking in a pre-existent girlfriend with a kid on the way, an old woman for another girlfriend and the fact that he nonchalantly takes me for granted. besides all that i chose to be a fool on the thought of him making me happy when he has made me miserable more than half of the time.

i give up trying, of pushing too far my limits just because i love this person. yes, i do after all that. but im a grown up with an intimacy need of more than he could offer. i long to be taken cared of, just a simple consideration, nothing much. i know this is selfish of me, but humans have their own levels of selfishness and mine has reached its limit.

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