oceanlab - i am what i am

Monday, February 28, 2011


to close the love month, i would like to post something about love. well, it contains that word, but it's absolutely not that. ANTI-LOVE.

oh i must be a bit misleading when i talk about love, or write some cheesy lines, i have had my moments but it ain't strong enough to make me want to be in a relationship of that sort. the cheesy lines were brought about the moment, the weather and the february season. the radio doesn't help either. most of the songs i get to hear convey thoughts of cheesiness, of being in love. don't they know that the feeling can bring you to great lengths, but if it's not for you, then you'd land on your butt with the loudest thud that could create an intensity 7 earthquake.

i know i'm being so negative about romance, hey, i do believe in love. i do believe that someone's meant for you and that sort of thing, but for now, i'd like to rest the case. perhaps, you'd have to get your heart badly bruised and beaten before you raise the white flag and lose hope. i guess i am just being too scared of being treated that way, of being hurt so bad you thought no one could treat you right.

i have perhaps become a skeptic in the love department (for now). i have come to the conclusion that i know myself when i fall in love and one more mistake could probably kill what i have left. through the mess that i have been in, i have learned to love myself more above all else. i learned to respect myself and ask for what i deserve. i have learned that love is give and take and nothing else. you give, they take. they give, you take. they go together, nothing and no one is left out.

for a chance in love, i think i have to rest the situation. i am not after anyone, any guy as of the moment. i am on the road towards making myself happy. if he comes along, then lucky for me. i am not closing my doors for mr right or mr right-now. i am just simply enjoying what i have right now, self-love.

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